When I would look at myself I would see scars. Physical, mental and spiritual scars. Scars of pain and hurt. Scars that I have had to receive because of life. Scars that I haven't let heal.
When I would look at myself I wouldn't see a complete me. I wouldn't see an accomplished me. Neither would I see a go getter or a fighter in me let alone beautiful and smart. I was insecure.
When I would look at myself I would see someone who had easily given up. Given up in faith. Given up on God. Given up in life. Given up on my dreams. Given up on me. Something had to happen. Something had to give.
Then came the process. A process that I was to go through. A process that would wake me up and realize...
I am a child of God. I am a woman of God. I was wonderfully made in His image. He chose me since before I was in my mothers womb. He knew I was going to need Him. He knew I was going to need His love, His mercy, His grace and compassion. He knew my worth, my value. He knew that at the end it would all be worth the process.
We all have heard the scripture of Jeremiah and the Potter (Jeremiah 18). Something special that God needed Jeremiah to see when he watched the process of the Potter form a shape out of the clay. How the process didn't work and he had to stop and start over again. The amazing thing is that he used the same marred clay to form something stronger and better.
If you are like me and has had all these thoughts and maybe more I would like to advise you to TRUST God - wholeheartedly. Trust His process. Believe and declare what He believes you are to be - A Person of Worth. Let Him take those broken/marred pieces and form you into someone better and stronger.
Psalms 139 & Proverbs 31
Prayer: God I thank you for giving me this day of life. An opportunity to live for You. These days I haven't felt or seen my worth. So much negativity comes to mind about myself and I begin to believe them. I am tired of believing in what's not true but I need help. God help me to see what YOU see in me. Help me to love myself as YOU love me. Help me to see my worth and trust in the process that I am going through. I am not alone for YOU are with me. Starting today, right now, I trust YOU with all my heart. Help and teach me to heal, to let go and to move on. In your name I pray dear Lord, Amen.
Pastor Nohemy